Thursday, May 22, 2025

.804 (Dreaming of Upper Midgar)

Note: This is a portion of a book-length macrotonal poem (The Madness of a Cloud) forthcoming from Blue Velvet Review

Cloud found it a tad befuddling, just because Tifa said she’d had an odd dream about him the previous night, and he’d replied bluntly that he didn’t usually have dreams about people he knew, somehow completely purging the fact from his mind that, just that night, he’d had a vivid dream involving one of his first girlfriends and her current (to the best of Cloud’s knowledge) spouse. How could that have possibly slipped his memory, given the vivacity of the dream itself? Barrett didn’t have a clue either, really. His ex and her husband were living with Cloud and his fictional wife in a modest condo they’d been leasing in Upper Midgar, yet he told Tifa he “never dreamt” about people he knew, yet perhaps the most befuddling aspect of it was that when he’d said that to her he actually believed it! Cloud’s ex-girlfriend and his fictional wife had become somewhat friendly in the dream, in the condo, and the whole ordeal, in Cloud’s dream, struck him as totally fine initially. His fictional wife was obscured, a pure mirage, while his ex was an image of how he’d known her in the past, not how she was now (not that he knew how she was now!), but eventually Cloud began to come to the realization that this was his ex-romantic interest, and that his current wife and ex-girlfriend becoming friends was an absolutely cataclysmic development for him socially, that it was the probably worst thing that could possibly happen to his marriage. 

[C][l]oud [f]ound it a [t]ad [b]e[f][u]dd[l]ing, j[u][s]t [b]e[c][au]se [T]ifa [s]aid sh[e]’d h[a]d [a]n [o]dd [d][r][e]am [a][b]out him the [p][r][e]v[i]ous night, and h[e]’d [r]e[p][l]ied [b][l]unt[l][y] that he [d]i[d]n’t usual[l][y] have [d]reams a[b]out [p][e]o[p]le h[e] knew, somehow [c]om[p][l][e]te[l][y] [p]urging the [f][a][c]t [f]rom his m[i]nd th[a]t, just that n[i]ght, [h]e’d [h]ad a [v]i[v]id dream in[v]ol[v]ing one of his [f]i[r]st gi[r]l[f]riends and he[r] [c]u[r]rent (to the [b]e[s]t of [C][l]oud’s know[l]edge) [s][p]ouse. [H]ow [c]ould th[a]t [h][a]ve [p][o[s]si[b][l]y [s][l]i[p]ped his [m]e[m]o[r][y], given the [v]i[v]a[c]it[y] of the [d][r]eam it[s]elf? [B]ar[r]ett [d]i[d]n’t have a [c][l]ue [e]ither, [r]eal[l][y]. [H]is ex and [h]er [h]usband were [l][i]v[i]ng w[i]th [C][l]oud and h[i]s [f][i][c]tional wi[f]e in a [m]o[d]est [c]on[d]o they’d been l[ea]sing in Up[p]er [M]idgar, yet he [t]old [T][i][f]a he “[n]ever [d]reamt” about [p]eo[p]le he k[n]ew, yet [p]erha[p]s the [m]o[s]t be[f]uddling a[s][p]e[c]t of it [w]as that [w]hen he’d said th[a]t to [h]er [h]e [a][c]tua[l]l[y] [b]e[l][ie]ved it! [C][l]oud’s ex-girlfriend and h[i]s [f][i][c]tional [w]i[f]e had [b]e[c]ome s[o]me[w]h[a]t [f][r]iend[l][y] i[n] the [d][r][e]am, i[n] the [c]on[d][o], and the wh[o]le or[d][e]al, in [C][l]oud’s [d][r]eam, st[r]u[c]k him as total[l][y] [f]ine [i]n[i]tial[l][y]. H[i]s [f][i][c]tional [w]i[f]e [w]as ob[s][c]u[r]ed, a [p]u[r]e [m]irage, [w]hile his ex [w]as [a]n [i][m]age of [h]ow [h]e’d k[n]own [h]er in the [p]ast, [n]ot [h]ow she was [n]ow ([n]ot that [h]e k[n]ew [h]ow she was [n]ow!), [b]ut eventua[l]ly [C][l]oud [b]egan [t]o [c]ome [t]o the [r]ea[l]ization [th]at [th]i[s] was his ex-[r]oman[t]i[c] in[t]ere[s]t, and that his [c]u[r]rent wi[f]e and ex-girl[f][r]iend [b]e[c]oming [f][r]iends was [a]n [a][b]solutely [c]ata[c]l[y]s[m][i][c] deve[l]op[m]ent for him [s]ocial[l]y, [th]at it [w]as [th]e [p]ro[b]a[b]l[y] [w]or[s]t [th]ing [th]at [c]ould [p]o[s]si[b]l[y] [h]a[p]pen to his [m]arriage. 

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